Revolution

SCOOP 2012: ROSTBURK pummels field in Event #13-High Knockout

SCOOP logo.gif The Knockout format is a cool concept that rewards players for their ruthless aggression and ability to bust opponents. But at the heart of it all, a Knockout event is still a MTT tournament, so the deeper you advance, the more bounties you accumulate.

Only the strongest shall survive two-day events like Event #13-H $2,600 NL Knock Out. This particular one included $500 bounties. This event attracted 501 runners, which boosted the prize pool to a shade over $1 million ($1,000,200 to be exact). The bounty prize pool was $250,500 and players earned a $500 bonus for every opponent they sent to the rail. The top 63 places were paid out of the total prize pool. The eventual winner would earn $190,380 for first place. That’s a delicious slice of the pie any way you cut it.

Notables who cashed in this Knockout event included a trio of Team PokerStars Pros… Brazil’s Andre Akkari (41st), Denmark’s Theo Jorgensen (37th), and Russia’s Max Lykox (26th).

TRAIN IN VAIN; K_0_S_T_Y_A eliminated in 10th place

The last ten players experienced an excruciating and tension-filled final table bubble. The final nine was finally set when K_0_S_T_Y_A had his [Ks][Kc] cracked by whereisdonny’s [Q][Qh]. The board ran out [A][9h][Jh][Qd][9s], and the [Qd] on the turn sealed K_0_S_T_Y_A’s fate. whereisdonny won the pot with a full house and also collected a $500 bounty. K_0_S_T_Y_A bubbled off the final table in tenth place, but won $12,024 as a departing prize.

Event #13-H Knockout – Final Table Chip Counts:
Seat 1: whereisdonny (572,460)
Seat 2: UhhMee (437,228)
Seat 3: JBT449 (458,968)
Seat 4: Fiskin1 (70,628)
Seat 5: ROSTBURK (302,314)
Seat 6: WushuTM (296,396)
Seat 7: Ansgar2000 (115,205)
Seat 8: zugzwang16 (99,594)
Seat 9: Mafews (152,207)

The final table began at Level 27 with blinds at 3000/6000. whereisdonny held the lead with 572,460.

SPANISH BOMBS: zugzwang16 eliminated in 9th place

Despite the prolonged bubble, it didn’t take very long before someone bit the dust at the final table. An unforeseen cooler crippled zugzwang16 after he bombed it all-in preflop with [Jd][Js] against Ansgar2000′s [Qs][Qd]. The board ran out [8h][2c][2h][Th][5h] and Ansgar2000′s pocket Ladies held up. On the next hand, miniscule-stacked zugzwang16 was put out of his misery by UhhMee, who took him out with [Kh][Qc] against [4d][2c]. UhhMee collected $500 for the bounty, and zugzwang16 became the first player to bust at the final table, winning $16,633.20, for a ninth-place finish.

LOST IN THE SUPERMARKET: Fiskin1 eliminated in 8th place

Fiskin1 was short-stacked for the last two tables but managed to stay afloat long enough to advance to the final eight. Unfortunately, it was time for Fiskin1 to say goodbye. Fiskin1 open-shoved for 31,878 and Ansgar2000 called from the big blind. Fiskin1 made a valiant final stand with [Kc][Ts] against Ansgar2000′s [Qs][Js]. However, Fiskin1 fate was doomed with two Jacks on the flop as the board ran out [Jc][Jd][9c][6d][2c]. Ansgar2000 won the pot and collected $500 for the bounty. Fiskin1 was knocked out in eighth place and took home $22,545.

GUNS OF BRIXTON: Mafews eliminated in 7th place and JBT449 eliminated in 6th place

ROSTBURK picked up two bounties in the same hand. A melee broke out when three players decided to get everything all-in before the flop. The fracas was kicked off by whereisdonny, who opened the betting to 16,560. JBT449 smooth called and ROSTBURK also called, but Mafews shoved over the top for 175,064. When action returned to whereisdonny, he bailed. JBT449 wanted rumble and re-raised all-in for 220,443. ROSTBURK snap-called. Three-way pot. Everyone held a pocket pair, bit ROSTBURK was ahead with Jacks.

ROSTBURK: [Jc][Js]
JBT449: [9c][9h]
Mafews: [6h][6s]

The board ran out [Ad][Qs][8c][2c][Ts] and ROSTBURK’s Jacks held up. He picked off two bounties and netted $1,000. Meanwhile… JBT449 busted out in sixth place and won $42,585, and Mafews finished in seventh place with a $32,565 score.

Watch the multi-way bustout in the replayer:

RSS readers ust click thru to view replayer

With five players remaining, ROSTBURK took over the lead and became the first player to pass 1 million in chips. Ansgar2000 held the short stack with 181K.

KOKA KOLA: UhhMee eliminated in 5th place

UhhMee attempted to make a move, but he ran into a sizzling hot ROSTBURK. Both players got it all-in preflop with UhhMee’s [Kd][Qs] trailing ROSTBURK’s [Th][Ts]. ROSTBURK dodged a bullet and won the race when the board ran out [6d][2h][3c][7d][Ah]. ROSTBURK’s pocket tens held up and he added another $500 bounty to a blossoming collection. UhhMee went busto in fifth place, but won $55,110.

With four to go, ROSTBURK improved his monsterstack to over 1.4 million. Sitting in second place was whereisdonny (671,329), followed by WushuTM (232,351) and Ansgar2000 (179,042).

FOUR HORSEMAN: Ansgar2000 eliminated in 4th place

Supernova player Ansgar2000 min-raised to 20,000 which ignited a firefight. ROSTBURK re-raised to 50,000, and Ansgar2000 retaliated with a four-bet shove for 216,412. ROSTBURK called and ahead once again, but this time he was racing with [7d][7h] against Ansgar2000′s [Qs][Js]. The board ran out [Ah][5d][3h][3d][2d]. ROSTBURK’s sevens held up and he won picked up another $500 bounty. Ansgar2000 won $78,156 for a fourth-place finish.

With three remaining, ROSTBURK held almost twice as many chips as whereisdonny and WushuTM combined.

DEATH OR GLORY

The pack caught up, but ROSTBURK still held almost 50% of the chips in play until whereisdonny struck a damaging blow. ROSTBURK and whereisdonny got into a pushing match. Everything went in before the flop, including donny’s last 557,045. ROSTBURK found himself in a rare spot — trailing in a hand — with [8s][8d] against whereisdonny’s [Qs][Qc]. The board ran out [As][Ks][9s][6s][Kc]. With four spades on the board, both players held a spade and made a flush. However, whereisdonny’s [Qs] prevailed. whereisdonny shipped the pot and avoided elimination. ROSTBURK coughed up the lead and whereisdonny jumped into the top spot with 1.27 million. ROSTBURK and WushuTM held approximately 600K apiece.

ROSTBURK didn’t wait long to regain his chips against his nemesis. Two hands later, on a board of [Qd][5d][5s], a raising war ensued and both players bombed it all-in. ROSTBURK was ahead with [Kh][5h] for trip fives, but whereisdonny held [Ad][7d] for a nut flush draw. ROSTBURK faded a diamond and his hand held up. He doubled up to 1.2 million, while whereisdonny slipped to 840K.

REVOLUTION ROCK: WushuTM eliminated in 3rd place

After playing three-handed for ninety minutes, someone finally bowed out. When ROSTBURK opened to 30,800, WushuTM shoved all-in for 269,478, and ROSTBURK called. Classic race. ROSTBURK led with [6h][6c] against WushuTM’s [As][Kc]. The board ran out [7h][3c][Ts][2c][5s]. ROSTBURK dodged a King and/or an Ace to win the pot. He also won a $500 bounty as WushuTM was knocked out in third place. WushuTM won $102,705 for a third-place performance.

HEADS-UP: whereisdonny (Canada) vs. ROSTBURK (Sweden)
Seat 1: whereisdonny (805,706)
Seat 5: ROSTBURK (1,699,294)

ROSTBURK held a 2-1 advantage. After 40 minutes of mental chess, whereisdonny won eight hands in row and 10 out of 1 to get almost even. He took the lead after he pulled down a 240k preflop.

LONDON CALLING: whereisdonny eliminated in 2nd place

Once ROSTBURK lost the lead, he woke up and went to work. He regained the lead but a small margin and then fireworks happened. whereisdonny opened to 41,400, ROSTBURK raised to 102,500, and whereisdonny called. The flop was [Ad][7c][3s]. ROSTBURK bet out 81,500 and whereisdonny called. The turn was the [8s]. ROSTBURK check-called a 142,000 bet from whereisdonny. The river was the [6s]. ROSTBURK checked, whereisdonny shoved all-in for his last 880,830, and ROSTBURK called. whereisdonny was betting with air, holding [Qh][9s]. But, ROSTBURK tabled [As][5s]. He was ahead preflop and on the flop, but caught running spades to improve to an Ace-high flush.

ROSTBURK won the pot and collected a $500 bounty for busting whereisdonny in second place. For a runner-up performance, whereisdonny won $14,0280. ROSTBURK won $190,380 for shipping Event #13-H Knock Out and winning his first SCOOP title. Congrats!

Watch the final hand in the replayer:

RSS readers must click through to view replayer

Event #13-High NL KO – Final Table Results and Payouts:
1. ROSTBURK (Sweden) – $190,380
2. whereisdonny (Canada) – $140,280
3. WushuTM (Austria) – $102,705
4. Ansgar2000 (Germany) – $78,156
5. UhhMee (Canada) – $55,110
6. JBT449 (Canada) – $42,585
7. Mafews (U.K.) – $32,565
8. Fiskin1 (U.K.) – $22,545
9. zugzwang16 (Uruguay) – $16,633.20

Visit the SCOOP home page to view the remaining schedule of events, including satellite information Also, don’t forget to check out the stats page and see who is sitting atop the leaderboard.

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EPT8 Campione: What’s that got to do with the price of tea?

If you need refreshment while playing EPT Campione the Casino have kindly laid on a few options. There’s mineral water, bottles of the stuff, free for you to help yourself. There’s also tea and coffee, but only the coffee is free, the tea isn’t.

I’m not sure what is behind this prejudice, although it may explain the odd looks from serving staff we English receive when ordering tea (a major food group since the reign of William III) when there’s so much free coffee to be had.

Then there are the sandwiches, plentiful and tasty and of no discernible price. The same delicious ham and cheese sandwich which cost €7.50 on Monday was €9 yesterday. Today I gave the man €10 and received three silver coins in return. They don’t look valuable, although one was made in 1969, and is perhaps worth about €2.50 at auction.

These are just trivial inconsistencies visitors must deal with, along with the large non-smoking area full of smokers you have to pass through to reach the smoking area. The differences at the tables are far more dramatic, as anyone who has encountered the Italian revolution in poker will recognise.

Italy has produced some top draw poker players, including those here this week. The likes of Luca Pagano, Dario Minieri, Max Pescatori and Andrea Benelli compete at the highest levels, with considerable success. Then there are others, whose approach to the game is more passionate than most.

There is something within the Italian psyche that loosens the inhibitions of a player enough to express themselves in ways others wouldn’t (in the UK it’s called alcohol), like shouting or hand gestures. It’s something even the best players have to adapt to, like a vet, used to worming cats, asked to do the same for a Bengal tiger.

“It’s very fun, they’re very friendly people,” said Rupert Elder, whose EPT win came on Italian soil, back in San Remo in 2011. “Some of them are very aggressive in spots you wouldn’t expect people to be aggressive. Some of them are very passive, like the recreational players.”

Tossing diplomacy aside, Elder described some of the locals. There are the aggressive ones (which he claims tend more often than not to have beards), the younger ones, ‘team pros’ of sites the rest of us might overlook, and who, while shrewd, get “creative”. Then there are those of a certain age who are passive in general. Elder didn’t say what they looked like.

Elder is just one of many with their own stories of playing in Italy. But one thing they rarely mention is their value entertainment wise.

Italian players can be among the most fun to watch, playing a seat-of-the-pants style of poker, hardly the stuff of books, but in an unpretentious manner that is as endearing as it is reckless.

Regardless of your take on this, the public demonstrations of irritation, emotion and sheer unadulterated joy (often between competing players at the same table) has brought a splash of colour to the European game, ever since the tricolour draped Salvatore Bonavena, on winning his EPT title and sitting down to have his picture taken, was mobbed by a crown of Italians as delighted as he was at his achievement.

Salvatore Bonavena (centre) with Italy

It was a lesson to everyone not to under-estimate the sheer momentum of an Italian player on a roll (see Andrew Chen in the picture below).

Bonavena (and, curiously, Massimo Di Cicco) celebrates, as Andrew Chen (centre) experiences first hand the full force of an Italian revolution

Not that we trade in stereotypes, of course. That would be like suggesting that the English were fussy about their tea.

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EPT8 Madrid: Like a runaway Freitez train

This is the European Poker Tour’s second visit to Madrid. Those who followed events in Season 7 will remember the first; a tournament from which emerged a final table of collisions, near-misses and that inescapable sense of inevitability. It proved to be a unique final – a grand final.

The last day was broken up into two sections. In the first the final eight would play down to four. Then play would stop before restarting for a live broadcast, with hole cards shown, albeit with a two hour delay.

It would be a great spectacle to end to the season, with two Team PokerStars Pros looking to make history.

Alex Gomes, from Brazil, was on course for the last leg of poker’s Triple Crown. Meanwhile Juan Maceiras was aiming to become the first Spanish EPT winner. In the end, neither came close. Gomes busted in seventh while Maceiras could do no better than fifth.

The cause? Well that was eventual winner Ivan Freitez.

Ivan Freitez celebrates

Freitez perhaps not graced with the finesse of other players, but he at least had charisma. Apocryphal stories only added to his brashness; being an apparent former revolutionary with a history stretching back to the early days of Chavez.

Players like Freitez come along from time to time, playing like they live, sweeping aside good grace, opinion and grudge, to swagger into the lead with unstoppable momentum.

A look back on last years’ coverage and Freitez was teamed up with words just like “unstoppable,” as well as “unorthodox”. Freitez loved it, even though his opponents, and those watching were perhaps not so taken with him. More than once he was cautioned for, well, what could best be described as unsporting play, profiting each time.

That said poker is not initially about popularity. It can be about other things – skill for instance and moments of drama- but Freitez stuck with this first maxim about not needing to be popular. It served him well, knocking out two players with pairs with ace-nine, catching a card each time. When only Torsten Brinkmann was left to take him on heads-up, the talented German faced an insurmountable disadvantage, overcome more than three-to-one in chips. When his ace-king was toppled by Freitez’s ten-nine no one was surprised.

“Overall he was the best player at the final table,” said David Williams, working the EPT Live commentary booth. “He may have been unorthodox, but he deserved to win.”

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EPT8 Madrid: No less grand than it used to be

The European Poker Tour is in Madrid this week for the next leg of Season 8.

You may remember Madrid from past tournaments, such as EPT7 “the Grand Final” back in April of last year, where Ivan Freitez, the Venezuelan revolutionary seized power at the final table, trouncing the opposition on his way to an against-all-odds victory.

That wrapped up Season 7, in the sunshine and shadows of the Arroyo de Trofe mountains. This year things are a little different with the Madrid event staged as a regular season event at the Casino Gran Madrid.

This place was good enough for the Grand Final and it’s good enough this week for a field of hundreds in the first event of the Spring; so long the icy gales of Deauville and the chill air of Copenhagen, this is a sunshine country and that brings with it optimism, good cheer and the sense that all will be well in the end.

The Town Hall in Madrid

Today the first of the day one flights will take their seat in the tournament room, downstairs from the casino floor where last year’s event took place. The M.O. remains the same – play until you reach the final table on Saturday or bust out. We like to keep it simple.

For now prepare to spend the day refreshing the screen, casting judgement on people you’ve never met before and analysing the hell out of their every move. It’ll be great.

Play starts at 12 noon.

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PokerStars launches UK Mobile app

If you’ve been playing the game long enough, there aren’t many words in poker that can make your heart race. But today, PokerStars issued a five-word statement that will change the lives of UK poker players. Those five words?

“We are now an App.”

With one little sentence, PokerStars set out on a journey that will change the lives of poker players in the UK. Following a successful launch in Italy, PokerStars Mobile today opened up its app to UK players. Now, players in England, Scotland, and Wales (excluding Northern Ireland) can play on PokerStars anytime they want.

Waiting for a table at a restaurant? Having a pint at the pub? On the long commute home? Lying in bed without a laptop? It doesn’t matter. UK players with an iPhone, Android, or iPad can fire up PokerStars and play for real money. It’s a poker revolution unlike any in recent years.

This bears repeating: PokerStars Mobile is for real: real money, real poker, whenever you want. All the hold’em and Omaha games you want to play will be available on the Mobile app. You can even multitable with ease! The only catch is that you have to be an existing PokerStars player before you can use the Mobile app. But, really, that’s not very hard at all. If you need a PokerStars account, just create one on your desktop computer or laptop, and then you can play on your PokerStars Mobile app whenever you want.

For now, this innovation is only available in Italy and the UK, but we’ll have news about other parts of the world soon. Keep your eyes on this space for more news.

You can download the app for free from Apple’s UK App Store, or check out the official PokerStarsMobile.com page for all download options and information.

Team PokerStars Pro Liv Boeree is one of the early adopters. She said: “PokerStars Mobile is going to transform where and when I play poker – I now have access to the biggest tournaments and all my favourite cash games, even when I’m not in front of my computer. I plan to play all the upcoming UKIPT events and will now be able to play some poker when travelling to or from a tournament.”

Here’s another download option: If you have a QR code reader, you can scan the QR Code to the left with your iPhone, iPad, iPod touch or Android device. This code contains a link to download the PokerStars Mobile App onto your device. If your device doesn’t have a QR reader, you should be able to obtain one from a third party supplier.

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PCA 2012: The solutions to all of poker’s problems

Problems arise, solutions are found. It’s the way the world works and life is better for it. Some of mankind’s greatest inventions came about through innovation and need. Spectacles for instance, underpants too and more recently the double ristretto venti nonfat organic chocolate brownie frappuccino extra hot with foam and whipped cream upside down and double blended, from Starbucks. Someone needed it so someone invented it.

But despite this pursuit of perfection there remain several items that could still revolutionize, if not the world, at least the microcosm of a poker tournament. Little things that are people are crying out for, they just don’t realise it yet.

For example:

Mass numbers of power sockets…
Were the proverbial aliens from out of space to land out on the beaches of Paradise Island, then walk, slither or hover into the tournament room looking for our leader (that would be Simon Young by the way, and I for one welcome our new alien overlords…) they would naturally assume that several hundred people had gathered to read the news on iPads and listen to music through big headphones. While they were at it they played a card game with other news hounds to keep their fingers busy.

Battery running out (foreground)

The demand for secondary entertainment in poker is massive – the tendency for player to forget to recharge their electronic devices is also massive. A solution must be found, if for no other reason than to reduce the insurance liability of several dozen iPhones scattered and charging between laptops in the media room.

Universal internet…

People tweet and for some reason other people want to read those tweets. It may not be for everybody but while someone is doing it someone else will want to follow. It also brings life and colour to a poker tournament, allowing people to keep tabs on their favorite players in a unique and direct way. Let the players tweet by wiring up the tournament room and then they may stop asking us for the media wireless code.

Opera glasses…

The number of people wanting to watch poker from a few feet away is always bigger than you imagine. This is in stark contrast to the amount of things they can actually see from a few feet away.

I can’t see a thing from here…

Like it or not, unless it’s televised, poker isn’t an ideal spectator sport. At least give those watching the chance to examine the faces of the players in close up, counting the nose hairs from their positions thirty feet away so they can at least identify them.

A giant scoreboard

I’m not talking Corrs Field, I’m thinking more like the Caesar’s Palace Sports Book. It would require the chips to be, well, chipped, in order to keep count of them accurate and quick to do. Those amounts could then be displayed on a giant screen. It would put an end to the most oft asked, and least answerable question, “who’s winning?” It would be right up there on the board.

Chips in chips?

The plan does have a drawback. Players too would have to be electronically tagged to match the stack to the player, and so far the only technology available would be that used to microchip pet dogs. Unless….

Name tags…

Formerly the role of mothers everywhere, sending their kids to school with a lunch bag or sports kit with their name sewn on, this would ensure the identity of every player was known from start to finish, and let mothers everywhere know a bit more about what their sons, and daughters, do in their spare time.

Who was that guy who just stormed off in a tizz, breaking a barrier rail on his way to the door? Boom – that’s so-and-so. Who was that guy who just flipped a coin to determine his tournament fate? No problem, his name’s on the list. Who was the dude in the flip flops who didn’t wash his hands after a bathroom break? Don’t worry, we got ‘im.

Let’s make it happen.

Others ‘ideas’ that didn’t make the list:

A Plexiglas screen hanging over the playing area, permitting tournament reporters (crawling across it) a bird’s eye view without getting too close to the players.

A magnetic force field to keep spectators away from the tables and players at them.

Vegetable dispensers.

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2011 WSOP November Nine – Sunday Live Blog

By Pauly
Las Vegas, NV

Photo courtesy of Flipchip
For a seventh year in a row, I’m covering the final table of the World Series of Poker Main Event Championship. I’m fortunate to have witnessed the last final table inside Benny’s Bullpen inside historic Binion’s in 2005 when Joe Hachem got the sugar passed his way amidst an omnipresent chant of “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Oy! Oy! Oy!” Since then, I caught final tables played out inside the Amazon Ballroom and had ringside seats during the apex of the poker boom when Jamie Gold and Jerry Yang respectively won their championships. I have also been in the orchestra pit for each incarnation of the November Nine — Peter Eastgate, Joe Cada, and Jon Duhamel.

Now you can add this year’s November Nine to my resume. Technology is improving, demand is vacillating, and the world’s financial system is in ruins. Who knows if the November Nine will continue to exist (check out Change100′s stellar article on that very subject), or if the WSOP Main Event reverts back to how it used to be played out — from start to finish — without any layoffs. Call me a purist, but that’s how the Main Event should be played out. I never liked the concept of the November Nine because it weakened the integrity of the Main Event. Big Business entities determined that the most prestigious poker tournament of the year should be a made-for-TV event like the Oscars or Presidential elections. But as far as fabricated events go — the November Nine is still one of the best spectacles you’ll ever see.

The lines between sports and entertainment have always been blurred since the inception of televised poker. But something happened this summer during the Main Event that revolutionized poker coverage — the live feed. It became insanely popular so the same concept has been added to the November Nine (with only a 15-minute delay and ALL hole cards instead of a 30-minute delay and hole cards past the flop). For the first time, the WSOP Main Event felt like a real sport because it was being covered like one on ESPN and ESPN2.

Generally speaking, Americans want their entertainment and art spoon fed to them. Best example is the popularity of the juvenile Jersey Shore, or why Michael Bay makes gajillion-dollar mind-numbing blockbusters (I admit, I like seeing shit get blown up) and Woody Allen has been banished to Europe to do his artsy-fartsy existential films.

TV programs are only in existence to sell shit. Just look back to the first “soap operas” that dominated the airwaves after the introduction to the TV. Dramatic stories with tepid acting were only created to sell… soap. Fifty years later, the same concept applied to the poker industry. Televised poker was created to sell online poker, masked as the grandiose American Dream. Alas, Black Friday squashed the lucrative televised poker market. Without PokerStars and Full Tilt Poker fighting for the hearts and minds of online poker junkies, a vacuum was created. Even though Ty Stewart is a masterful salesmen, he’s really been the only one to persuade non-gambling companies to join the WSOP as a major advertising partner. The bottom line is that most Fortune 500 companies don’t care about poker, otherwise all of the November Niners would look like NASCAR drivers with ads peppering their entire accouterments.

Without the proverbial carrot stick in front of the donkey cart, it’s been hard to sell “packaged” poker programs to the masses. But, rabid poker fans love everything that has to do with poker. They’ll flock anywhere to get their poker fix. The ratings during the live stream of the Main Event proved that watching poker “now” (even though it’s on a delayed feed to protect the integrity of the game) is a profitable product. Let’s put it this way, if it wasn’t, there’s no way ESPN would dedicate an entire Sunday during football season to a poker tournament. Yet, that’s what happened. If the live feed continues to be a smashing and profitable success, the November Nine’s future is in jeopardy. Alas, the future of the November Nine will come down to the fate of so many projects in Hollywood — ratings.

You can watch the final table on ESPN2 this afternoon on a 15-minute delay. You can stream it online on ESPN3 and if you live outside America, you’ll find options at WSOP.com.

I will be tweeting from inside the Penn and Teller Theatre. I will be also be providing some updates here on Tao of Poker. I gotta be honest — the November Nine scheduled on a Sunday is utter torture for a sportsbettor and NFL fan like myself. It will be hard to focus on the final table while NFL games are in action. I can’t promise I’ll stay inside the Penn and Teller Theatre. It won’t be surprising if you find me walking back and forth between the press box and the sports book. Besides, between Twitter and ESPN2, there’s really no reason for me to add to the static and regurgitate information you already know about. But on a good note, that will allow me to float around and dig up the juicy dirt behind the scenes, in the hallways, and in the farthest corners of the Penn and Teller Theatre.

But the November Nine is always a wild ride so stay tuned. We’re playing from 9 players to 3 tonight. Get ready…

* * *
I have to run to the sportsbook and check on some lines. Stay tuned…

Support indie writers by buying Pauly’s book Lost Vegas.

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I Didn’t Know I Was That Far Gone

By Pauly
San Francisco, CA

“I didn’t know I was that far gone.”

I barely remember the Main Event because I was so hopped up on Oxycontin (a.k.a Hill Billy heroin) that I was floating fourteen feet off the ground while the field spliced and diced it’s way down from 6,865 to the November Nine. I had no fucking clue what was going on inside the Amazon Ballroom — everyone was crying in the press box, someone who looks like Justin Beiber handed me pills every half hour, Seth Palansky gave me fuzzy slippers, a loud French dude in pink hair went deep, I couldn’t find fucking Benjo or Matt Maranz, all these drunks on the rail screamed Phil Collins songs, and I was pretty sure the greys from Zeta Reticuli had invaded Earth because we were playing the featured TV table inside the Mothership.

Seriously, how schwasted was I? AlCantHang and I were betting on baseball. Every. Fucking. Day.

I didn’t know I was that far gone.

It’s obvious that I neglected Tao of Poker over the last few months. The watershed moment was the car accident in Vegas on the morning of Day 1B of the World Series of Poker Main Event. I told my friends it was just a fender bender because I didn’t want them to worry, but it was more severe than I led on. I probably should have departed Vegas and returned to LA to heal, but I was foolish and my whale-sized ego took over and I refused to leave. Instead, I ate a fist full of pharmies and shoved an ice pack down my crotch. I became a sad and decrepit sight, limping around the Amazon Room like a prize fighter seven years past his prime. My coverage on Tao of Poker suffered. It was abysmal. Someone should have shot me on the spot and put me out of my misery. But I had too much pride to leave and gutted out the remainder of the Main Event.

I fled Vegas as soon as I could. After a near-death experience (and the second crash in three years) the last thing I wanted to do was think about Vegas or poker.

The accident made me do something I should have taken a couple of years before — take a long extended break. My body needed to heal. My mind needed to heal. But more importantly, I had to take a step back to see things for how they really were, and not what they looked like inside the echo chamber. The entire world was on the brink of collapse — Japan was swimming in radiation soup, the U.S. was engaged in three wars with a fourth with Iran on its way, Greece went busto threatening a European financial meltdown, the Arab Spring was underway as revolutions were sweeping through Africa in the Middle East, which in turn had a ripple effect that you’re seeing happening right now all over America in the Occupy Wall Street movement. But you’d barely know about anything about the real world and any substantial socio-political chatter inside the Fellini-esque grotesquerie of poker.

It has taken a while, but I’m emerging out of my hiatus after I moved to San Francisco, began writing a sci-fi screenplay, and started fanning the flames of revolution. Along the way, I had to ween myself off a proclivity to pain pills and had to momentarily postpone my return to freelance writing and poking my head back into the echo chamber to see if anything has changed. Luckily, I have an awesome girlfriend, cool brother, and understanding clients, business partners, readers, colleagues, family and friends — all of whom knew I needed a break to heal, to slow down, catch my breath, and take time off from the insane restless work/travel schedule including the nonstop party scene while jumping back and forth between poker and music.

The good news is that I cleaned up in time to cast my vote for the Poker Hall of Fame and to attend the November Nine. The return trip to Vegas is huge for a few reasons, mainly because I was morbidly afraid to go back to the city where I almost died. Twice. I had panic attacks at the thought of booking my travel. I even turned down a few assignments to cover other events in Vegas over the last few months because I was afraid to go back. I associated the city with… death. But, I’m finally worked up enough courage to take a leap of faith. Besides, I’m not driving and flying instead.

But it’s that pesky ego of mine that wants to finish what I started — the 2011 WSOP. The Tao of Poker’s Oxy-induced diarrhea that passed for Main Event coverage floundered because of the accident. I’m better than that. Much better. You and I both know it, but thanks for being understanding and sympathetic.

So that’s the good news. No more excuses. It’s time to finish what I started. It’s the least I could to to everyone who supported me over the years, especially the last few months.

By the way, the title to this post is a lyric to one of my favorite songs. The hardest part about being you is lack of perspective. It’s not easy to take a step back and see things as they truly are. As a result, you never know how far off the reservation you’ve gone until it’s too late. If you’ve attended an AA or Gambler’s Anonymous meeting, you’ll hear a bevy of horrific stories about people who had bad beats in life and allowed their past to lead them to a future of nothingness. At the same time, you’ll hear those “I never know how great I had it until it was too late” swan songs. Regardless of the route everyone took, they all ended up in the same place — rock bottom. It’s not until you pick yourself out of the gutter until you realize, “I didn’t know I was that far gone.”

I love poker, but the past few years my passion developed into a love-hate relationship that focused more on the hate side. If you’ve ever been in a bad marriage or relationship, well that’s what happened to me. It got fucking ugly. Like Sid and Nancy kind of ugly. We were both on a path of self-destruction and playing a foolish game of “chicken” while deciding which one was going to jump off the edge of the abyss. I was one step away from lying slumped on the shoddy carpet of a blood-splattered room in the Chelsea Hotel.

Me and poker? Peas and carrots. We seemed like a match made in heaven. But what the fuck happened? Well if you haven’t read Lost Vegas, then I encourage you to do so. But it’s a similar tragedy that has happened to so many things/events/people/industries that it was inevitable that poker’s story arc would reveal itself within my journey. My problem? I got too greedy and stuck around for a little longer than I should have. I always had an exit strategy and I should have went with my gut and skipped the 2011 WSOP (or as I originally planned — to only cover the Main Event). If I had covered a shortened series, then I never would have gotten into an accident in Las Vegas and totaled my girlfriend’s car.

If you believe it… then things happen for a reason. If you don’t, then it doesn’t matter. We live in a chaotic, random universe.

The gambling gods have a sense of humor. I cite every Pai Gow session as proof. But, if you believe in God or a higher being, then he/she/it/the Creator spared my life that fortunate morning and decided it wasn’t my time to go. I’ve been trying to figure out why I’ve been given a second chance. It’s been an exhausting summer searching for answers both spiritually and philosophically. If you been following any of my side projects, you might have a clue into what I’ve been doing with myself.

I didn’t know that I was that far gone. See you in Vegas in two weeks.

Support indie writers by buying Pauly’s book Lost Vegas.

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Flashback: Exile On Main Street (2006)

By Pauly
San Francisco, CA

Editor’s Note: On the 5th anniversary of Bush 2.0 sealing online poker’s fate with the signing of the UIGEA, I want to share something I wrote five years ago. This appeared on Tao of Poker on 10/9/06.

* * *

“Just for grins I shoved a hot pepper up my ass while I was jerking off. Pretty hot, but not hot enough to not try it yourself.” – Daddy

I was 22 when Jerry Garcia died on August 9, 1995. I had the day off from work and went to see a rare weekday Yankees game with my buddy Jerry who was in town on summer vacation from law school. We got drunk, smoked a joint in stairwell in left field, and watched Cal Ripken smash two home runs as the Yankees lost.

After the game I stopped by the Metropolitan Museum of Art to meet up with my girlfriend at the time. That’s when I found out about the news of Jerry Garcia’s passing. Less then two months earlier, I met Jerry Garcia and shook his hand (which eleven years later still marks one of my Top 10 Moments of All Time along with getting a blowjob on the subway and finishing my first novel).

Some older hippies and Deadheads that I know said, “The 1960s officially ended when Jerry Garcia died.” For many fans the news was devastating. The music of the Grateful Dead was not just for teenagers. As they band evolved and got older, so too did the audience. The death of their icon and hero affected not just kids but former hippies who integrated into society. They had jobs, families, and mortgages and the day Jerry Garcia died marked a void for many of them.

The Grateful Dead were followed all around the world by it’s fervent fans. Some never left tour while others jumped on and off as the drove around the country checking out shows in different cities. When Jerry Garcia died, not only did the music stop but so did the essential purpose for many individuals. Their entire lives revolved around the Grateful Dead touring. That included not just fans, but also people who worked and earned a living in the Dead’s bubble such as roadies, management, and merchandise vendors. Most of the hippies following the Dead from city to city paid their way by vending in the parking lot. Most of them lived in their cars, vans, and VW buses and sold enough stuff to buy gas, food, and a ticket to the next show. When Jerry Garcia died, an entire subculture plunged into confusion. They never had conventional jobs and found themselves at a crossroads of uncertainty, confusion, and grief.

The immediate result for the passing of Jerry Garcia and the eventual break up of the Grateful Dead also meant that there was a void to be filled. Even Rolling Stone magazine printed up a list of bands that would take the torch from the Dead. In fact several of those bands benefited financially and commercially from Jerry Garcia’s death. Without the Dead to follow around, bands like Widespread Panic, Dave Matthews Band, and Phish eventually inherited the fans, the suits, and the hippie vendors hawking their wares in the parking lot of their concerts. Their careers were advanced by the death of Jerry Garica.

Even I took advantage of the nomadic lifestyle in the late 1990s. I spent most of 1999 following Phish all over North America seeing concerts in 19 different states and 26 different cities including two in Canada. I got by selling whatever I could in the parking lots to get by whether it was tickets, pharmies, or t-shirts. Even my girlfriend at the time sold hemp jewelry or veggie burritos in order to earn enough money to buy a ticket for that night’s show and have enough money left over to buy beer and gas so we can drive to the next city and repeat the process all over again.

In 2004 when Phish broke up, there was another void to be filled and several other bands benefited from the rabid subculture. Some hippies grew old and others cut their hair and got real jobs while a new crop of prep school kids or frat and sorority girls joined the mix to keep the monster going. They voraciously drink, ingest drugs, and will party to dawn. They love music and will travel thousands of miles to see a concert. Plus they’ll spend money… and money is what keeps the monster going.

Twenty years from now they’ll be some new band that kids will follow around religiously like I did with the Dead in college and Phish in my mid/late 20s. Why? Because that’s what some people are into. They want to escape from the bitter realities of the actual world and feel connected to something/someone even if it’s for a few hours.

I saw what happened to the hippie subculture in a post-death Jerry Garcia world and that’s the closest comparison that I can come up with the recent legislation that tweaks the legality of online poker. Within a few days of Party Poker announcing their pull out of the American market, other sites such as Full Tilt and Poker Stars said they’d stay. They’re filling the void and billions of dollars in rake and tournament fees will go into their bank accounts instead of Party Gaming.

Online poker is not dead. Yet. Even though the party got busted up, people still want a fix. Ever go to one of those huge suburban parties in high school and the entire place is jumping and you’re about to declare the festivities were epic enough to be awarded Party of the Year… and then the cops come and bust it up? Mostly everyone leaves and goes home, but a few diehards stay around and drink the rest of the keg. I’m gonna be one of those guys.

For the past week, I’ve read the collective narcissistic psychodramas on everyone’s blogs regarding the death of online poker and Black Monday or Black Friday. And depending on who your read, the future is dim and dark or bright and rosey. I think that the future falls somewhere in between. The news is not that bad, but it’s not good either.

The post-apocalyptic poker world will not have mutant kids with three eyes running around and Jesus Freaks jumping out of the bushes spraying Holy Water onto the faces of hedonists. I don’t think black helicopters will land in your cul de sac and the federales will whisk you away if they find you playing an SNG on Poker Stars and ship you in a secret CIA prison in Djibouti where they’ll fry your testicles with car batteries and rip out your fingernails with rusty pliers before they toss you into a 10 by 10 cell with a fingernailess zealot named Ahmed who has a tattoo of “Death to America” written in Farsi on his forehead.

Or maybe they will?

Poker players are gamblers at heart and some will take risks to maintain their fix. The world is filled with greedy people and they’ll be several ruthless companies who’ll flip the bird to the American courts and lawmakers that will take risks to gain access to the subculture of online poker players.

Then I look at a place like my hometown of New York City and try to figue out the future. Without online poker, the demand for new poker rooms and underground clubs will increase dramatically. Some daring entrepreneurs will open up new clubs and the players will come in droves. Whichever ethnic mafia running rooms is about to make a shitload of money in the Big Apple. Of course the police will have to get involved and spend time shutting down the rooms, just like cops in the 1920s busted up bathtub gins and speakeasies.

The right-wingers who were in favor of the anti-online poker legislation pulled out the terrorist card and said that online gambling sites can be a haven for terrorists to launder money. But by banning online poker, the NYPD will have to exhaust their already limited resources on busting up poker games rather than focusing on protecting our city from terrorists… which we’re severely under-prepared. Instead of cops breaking up terror cells, they’ll be wasting their time keeping my brother, F Train, and The Rooster out of poker clubs in Chinatown. By trying to make our nation safer… the suits in Washington made my city more vulnerable.

Politicians don’t care about the people. They only care about themselves. Same goes for corporations. If it comes down to a choice between you or them… they’ll cut the rope every time and let you fall to your death. That’s the way it is and that’s why I’ve lost my passion for politics. It’s not apathy but ultimately realizing that we don’t live in a true democracy and we don’t have freedom of choice but the illusion of freedom and choice. We can vote out the politicians currently in office, but they’ll be replaced with a new group of lying scumbags that will sell your kids to the highest bidder if it meant they’ll get another term in office.

That’s why I don’t see a revolutionary change happening in America. Not just with poker but with everything else surrounding the eroding civil liberties of Americans. Here’s my reasoning… my peers in Generation X and the kids born after me are spoiled, lazy, dumbass little shitheads. We’re overly selfish, hypersensitive, and too self-centered. We don’t have the vision or the passion to evoke a world wide change like the baby boomers did in the 1960s. The hippies were better educated and organized. They believed in a better way and a brighter future. They put themselves on the line and for a while, the people in power got spooked the fuck out.

Most of the Americans that I know are more concerned with watching TV and buying stuff rather than hitting the streets to protest en masse. Some might write up whiny diatribes on their blogs or write nasty letters to their congressman, but after their little rants they’ll never leave the couch or their cubicle to actually do something. We’re a nation of apathetic scared fatasses and we’re going to continue to let scrupulous politicians and multinational corporations dictate policy. Me included.

And the other reason I don’t think my generation can undertake a social change is because the hippies failed. Even John Lennon admitted, “Flower power did not work. We need to try something different.”

The 1960s saw the great minds, leaders, and visionaries trying to lead a charge against the political machines with millions of disgruntled citizens ready to make some changes. And in the end, it didn’t work. The Man won. Black and white images from the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago or Kent State in 1970 should be all the proof that you need to see that in the end The Man will do anything possible to stay in power, which includes beating and killing their own citizens.

After the hippies got their heads full of Owsley’s liquid sunshine bashed in a few times by the cops, they eventually stopped protesting. That’s when militant groups sprung up like the Blank Panthers. I’m waiting for a militant group of poker bloggers to form a united front and start fire bombing the campaign headquarters of major political figures but that will never happen. We can’t even get ten bloggers to agree on the same weekend to have a convention, let alone formulate any sort of social change and revolution.

I’ve traveled around the world enough and extensively throughout America to honestly say that this is an amazing country but our leaders are war mongering pimps selling our souls to suits in a boardroom somewhere. Sure there are places like Barcelona or Samui where I’d like to live for a while, but at some point I’d get homesick and want to return to America particularly New York City. Then again, I technically didn’t grow up in America as Spalding Gray explained, “New York City is a small island off the coast of America.”

As is, I’m an expatriate living in America. I finally understand the reference by The Rolling Stones… “exile on Main Street.”

Support indie writers by buying Pauly’s book Lost Vegas.

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Monday Nugs: Screwed Up Full Tilt, Blessed Cheaters, Bots, White Knigts, and Russian Broke Dicks

By Pauly
San Francisco, CA

It’s Monday and time for a few heady nuggets to keep you busy today. If you have the day off, then that’s awesome, enough the day of rest. If not, enough these blurbs while you’re killing time in the cube…

Smooth Criminal: I love it when Scandi philosophers delve deep into the big questions of the universe. In this case, Kim wonders “why do we cheat so much?” in thought-provoking essay titled Blessed Art the Cheaters.That brings me back to something I’ve always said — “We’re all criminals.” It’s innate in humans. We’re creatures who have bucked the system and shot angles since the first time Adam attempted to pluck the forbidden fruit off the Tree of Life. Some of cheat more than others in life, but whenever large sums of money are around, you’ll find a higher percentage of angle shooters. Case in point: poker, drugs, and Wall Street. (Infinite Gaming Edge)

Knights in White Satin: Snoopy weighs in on the Full Tilt Poker situation with Tom Dwan: A Knight in Shining Armour. You have to read this post because of three reasons… 1) Snoppy declares “durrrr” as the only white knight in the FT not-paying-its-players-back scandal, 2) Snoopy writes funny using “u” in words like armour, and 3) Snoopy is one of my favourite writers… see what I did there? (Black Belt Poker)

Paint It Black: So… how did Things Become So Screwed Up With Full Tilt Poker? My colleague and former FT employee gives his opinion on how things imploded in the Full Tilt universe. (Bill’s Poker Blog)

Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots: Shamus wants to know… To Bot or Not to Bot? That is the question. Bots are bad right? That’s what all of the Terminator movies taught me — that at some point the poker bots will join SkyNet and fire nukes on humanity. Then again, what is the difference between a bot and a total nit? Nits won’t blow shit up, unless they get stacked on a wicked bad beat, then they’ll blow up a 2p2 thread. (Hard-Boiled Poker)

Broke in the USSR: Gotta love a rags to riches to rags story. Poor kid grinds out roll playing online poker. Kid wins Sunday Million. Blows it all that night playing high stakes SNG. Kid now being made fun of by the Entities. (Wicked Chops Poker)

And yes, part of the reason I haven’t been writing about poker is because I’ve been helping stir up a revolution when I haven’t been fear mongering. I encourage you to check out the Monday Morning Red Pill, which is the Tao of Fear’s version of the Monday Nugs. In the latest version of the Red Pill, we discuss bleach fights among Walmart customers, potential WWIII with China, the real skinny on nuclear meltdown in Japan, the impending financial collapse of Europe, and more evidence that America is becoming a police state. If you don’t follow @TaoFear on Twitter, then what are you waiting for?

Support indie writers by buying Pauly’s book Lost Vegas.

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