TCOOP: Cejakas14 crushes Event #11 ($109 Heads-up NLHE)

Eight and a half hours? Granted, that’s pretty long for a TCOOP tournament, but considering a standard-speed version of today’s $109 NLHE heads-up event would take the better part of two days, eight and a half hours is a pretty good clip to go from 2,830 to one. The $150K guarantee on Event #11 was obliterated long before cards went in the air, the prize pool swelling to $283,000. 256 places were paid with the champion set to earn $48,110, and to get there, it would take twelve straight heads-up wins.

Vying for the title were 17 members of Team PokerStars Pro and Team Online. Five made the money, including Martin Hruby (163rd), Stavros “IDOLLS” Kalfas (145th), Bjorn “Bjoerni89″ Schneider (99th), Johannes Strassman (88th), and Liv Boeree (73rd), who was eliminated by eventual winner Cejakas14.

Boeree wasn’t the only leading lady of poker to fall to Cejakas14 tonight. The last match to finish before the quarterfinal saw Cejakas14 go up against model-turned-poker pro Christina “lindeyloo22″ Lindley. Down to 12.5 big blinds, Lindley three-bet shoved with [Ks][Jc], but could not catch up to Cejakas14′s [Ad][9d]. Cejakas14 paired his nine on the turn and moved on to the quarterfinals, while Lindley departed in ninth place.

How much do we love the official bracket?

THE QUARTERFINALS (ROUND OF

niclas237 vs. Harv$$103:

Niclas237 made swift work of Harv$$103, notching the win after less than ten minutes of play. After grinding his stack up to 6,500, niclas237 flopped a set of fives and rivered a full house on a [8c][6s][5d][Th][Ts] board, getting three streets of value along the way. A few hands later, Harv$$103 check-raised all-in for his last 1,695 holding [5h][8h] on a [8d][7c][2d] flop, only to have niclas237 snap-call with [Ks][Kd]. The kings held and Harv$$103 ended his run in eighth place while niclas237 moved on to the semi-finals.

uldano vs. dh7889:

This match was strange to say the least. After dh7889 timed out of his first half-dozen or so hands, it appeared as if he might have connection issues. His frustrated opponent began venting into the chat box.

uldano: ???
uldano: play faster

A hover of the mouse over dh7889′s avatar revealed his connection level at 100%, but he continued to time out, hand after hand. Uldano was convinced there was foul play at work and voiced these concerns.

uldano: you are cheating
uldano: you are no dh7889
uldano: multiacc
uldano: should sit out
uldano: i report this for the suipport

After timing out 36 straight hands and blinding down to about 3,500, dh7889 finally started moving chips into the pot but was unable to recover. The match continued for another 15 hands before uldano hit top two pair on a [Qd][9h][4d] flop. After check-raising dh7889′s 280-chip bet to 675, dh7889 moved in for 3,055 with [Kc][Kh] and uldano snap-called, his [Qc][9d] boating up on the turn when the [Qh] fell. Uldano punched his ticket to the semis while dh7889 departed in seventh place, earning $7,782,50.

el17@bk vs. qqgo:

After four levels of small-pot poker, el17@bk edged out to a lead after his [Ac][2h] turned top two pair on a [Ts][Th][7c][As] board. El17@bk slyly check-called qqgo’s 600-chip bet, then checked again when the [3c] hit the river. Qqgo took a final stab at the pot, betting 1,100 with his king-high but el17@bk called, taking down the 5,000 pot. Two minutes later it looked as if qqgo might find a double-up, getting the rest of his chips in with [Ac][Kh] against el17@bk’s [Ah][5h], but the Russian caught running straight cards, the board falling [Ks][7d][4d][6c][8h] to give him an eight-high straight and send qqgo to the rail in sixth.

Cejakas14 vs. AmarulaBr:

AmarulaBr picked the wrong time to bluff in what would be his last hand, shoving the river with a busted straight draw right into Cejakas14′s top pair to go out in fifth place:

THE SEMI-FINALS (ROUND OF 4)

uldano vs. niclas237:

Uldano quickly moved out to the chip lead, picking up three consecutive pots before the eighth-hour break. The largest one saw niclas237 call to the river on a [9d][9c][Jc][7d][2h] board, only to have uldano show him [Ad][9s] for trips. Shortly after action resumed, niclas237 opened for a min-raise to 120 holding [2d][2s] and uldano three-bet to 480. Niclas237 moved all-in for his last 1,520 and uldano called, revealing [7s][7d]. The sevens held and uldano moved on to the final match while niclas237 collected $15,565 for fourth place, certainly a worthy return on a $109 investment

Cejakas14 vs. el17@bk

El17@bk moved out to an early lead and held it until the third level, when Cejakas14 found a double-up. All the money went in on a [Qc][Js][4c] flop, Cejakas14 holding [Kc][Kd] against el17@bk’s [Kh][Qd]. The turn and river blanked with the [8c] and the [6s], sending the 7,900-chip pot Cejakas14′s way. Minutes later, a preflop raising war broke out, Cejakas14 four-betting to 699 only to have el17@bk five-bet shove for 2,552. Cejakas14 quickly called with [Jc][Js], leaving el17@bk to reveal his stone bluff with [Tc][5d]. Cejakas14 flopped top set and finished off el17@bk in third place, moving on to the finals where he’d face uldano.

THE FINALS: Cejakas14 vs. uldano

Our final two immediately decided to pause the action and discuss a deal. Cejaks14 and uldano agreed to split the remainder of the prize pool evenly, leaving the required $3,000 in play for the eventual winner. Each would take home at least $35,290 for their troubles.

When action resumed it was a small-pot slog for the better part of three levels before Cejakas14 went on a tear, winning 12 out of 15 pots. The largest of them didn’t even go to showdown, Cejakas14 pushing uldano off his hand with a shove on the turn:

Three hands later, all the chips were in the middle, uldano three-bet shoving for his last 1,325 on a [Td][8c][8h] flop. Cejakas14 called, his [Tc][7c] leading uldano’s [3s][3h]. Only a three could save uldano, but Cejakas14 managed to improve even further on the turn and river, the [9s] and the [Jh] falling to make him a jack-high straight and seal his TCOOP win.

Congratulations to Cejakas14 on going 12-0 to win TCOOP Event #11 and $38,290! For his runner-up finish, uldano earned $35,290.

2012 TCOOP Event #11 ($109 Heads-Up NLHE) results:

1. Cejakas14 (United Kingdom) $38,290.00*
2. uldano (Hungary) $35,290.00*
3. el17@bk (Russia) $15,565.00
4. niclas237 (Sweden) $15,565.00
5. AmarulaBr (Brazil) $7,782.50
6. qqgo (Bulgaria) $7,782.50
7. dh7889 (Germany) $7,782.50
8. Harv$$103 (United Kingdom) $7,782.50

*= reflects the result of a two-way deal that left an additional $3,000 for the winner

If you aren’t already in on the TCOOP action, what are you waiting for? Head over to the TCOOP page for a full schedule and satellite information.

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Tao of Poker – 2011 Year in Review

By Pauly
New York City

Time flies, eh? Hard to believe that 2012 is around the corner, but I’m kinda glad that 2011 is over. This year was one of the roughest, saddest, and most excruciating that I experienced since I ventured into the poker world. I can only be optimistic about the future, because it can’t get any worse… right?

Without further ado, here’s the best of the Tao of Poker…

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January 2010

God’s Cell Phone Number – Things got a little crazy while betting on the NFL playoffs and I successfully pulled off a Band of Brothers reference…

Sometimes I refer to God as Gretzky. At least, that’s what I have him labeled on my cell phone. I’d hate for someone to steal my phone and than have a direct number to God. Hence, why He’s coded as GRETZKY. He doesn’t gives those out to anyone. It’s one of the perks of attending a Jesuit high school. You learn Latin, Greek, and get God’s cell phone number… MORE

Dispatches from the PCA: You Enjoy Myself – My lovely girlfriend won a satellite to the Ladies Event, so I flew down to Paradise Island in the Bahamas to attend the PCA as a civilian and professional railbird. I also drunk a shit-ton of rum and gambled at the sports book.

The cabbie pulled into Atlantis and I tipped him fairly decent, enough that he tried to sell me a bag of blow. I politely declined. Do you know the six words that aptly describes cocaine from the Caribbean? Clumps together, but only cut once… MORE

Dispatches from the PCA: Divided Sky – I spent a lot of time watching the Dead People Channel and then hung out on the rail to sweat Change100 during her victorious run in the Ladies Event.

It’s no secret that I feel uncomfortable and unwelcomed at any Ladies Only events because I’m getting thousands of daggers shot at me from evil glances from the players, many of whom on principle hate men, not to mention a slew of female players who think I’m an asshole because my writing glorifies misogyny and the poor treatment of women by condoning prostitution and promoting stripping… MORE

Tao of Pokerati Podcast: Bahama Mama – Change100 Scores Ladies PCA Title – Listen to a super quick podcast that I recorded with Change100 after she beat Lauren Kling heads-up to win the PCA Ladies event.

Looming Municipal Debt Crisis the Key to Online Poker Legislation? – The majority of the states in the union were faced with severe budgetary problems at the start of 2011. I hypothesized that some states will look to legalize online poker in order to make a dent into their ginormous debt obligations.

The future is grim no matter how you look at it. That’s why there’s very little chatter in the media about the looming municipal debt crisis. It’s sort of like an asteroid ready to crash into Earth — it’s much easier to be the ostrich with its head buried in the ground, and let everyone go about their daily lives, rather than clue them in on the reality of the situation and that the end of the world could be right around the corner…MORE

Dan Shak’s Hedge Fund Nearly Blows Up the Gold Market – Speaking of finance… did you hear the one about Dan Shak nearly causing a financial tsunami?

Talk about a trader who has a set of titanium balls! That’s what I love about Dan Shak — he made a ballsy trade, it went south, he cut his losses, shrugged it off, and wants to get back in the game… MORE

Eight Voices and a Sea of Trouble – I broke down the eight different voices inside my head that often get me into gambling trouble.

Accessing the future for my own financial gain is an unattainable pipe dream. I meet people all the time in Vegas and in poker circles who claim that have foolproof systems for blackjack, roulette, the horses, stock options, etc. I’ve met lots of shit-talkers, but I’ve never crossed paths with a legitimate psychic who can accurately predict the future. Believe me, I scoured the world for a seer and found lots of charlatans, but came up empty…MORE

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February 2010

Your Hands and Feet Are Mangos, Part 1 – For one week, I conducted an experiment — do nothing except drink rum and bet on sports.

In the last few years, what used to be a ravenous love affair with sports betting had become a coarse, listless, co-dependent relationship. Each bet used to be like riding a rollercoaster for two hours while jacked up on cocaine. But not anymore because watching each game was more like being prisoner on a cruise ship adrift in stormy seas that’s inducing you to puke your nads out….MORE

Your Hands and Feet Are Mangos, Part 2 – Here’s the second and final installment of my rum-inspired sports betting diaries, which started out as a social experiment but over a long weekend, I nearly lost my shirt on college hoops and had an accident that left our kitchen floor all… sticky.

“Good news and bad news,” I barked and then inspected my soaked jeans. “Bad news is that the kitchen floor is pink and sticky. Good news is that thanks to the supreme technological advances in developing plastics, the shatter-proof bottle prevented the rum from exploding.”…MORE

Syracuse Point-Shaving Rumors Debunked; Major College Basketball Betting Scandal Averted? – The Syracuse point-shaving rumors blew up overnight and what would have just been whispers among paranoid bettors, until it became a national scandal.

College athletes have become pawns for corporate entities. All of those annoying redundant commercials during March Madness made you nauseous, but it’s a clear indication at the significant money that is thrown around by major advertisers. Someone is making a buck on college athletes, everyone except the athletes themselves….MORE

Tao of Pokerati Podcast: Exotic Betting on the Super Bowl with Change100 – I recorded a quick podcast with my girlfriend, who was excited to bet on how long it was going to take Christina Aguilera to sing the National Anthem.

Live Sumo Is Rigged – If you didn’t know, the national sport of Japan has a shady past of rigging matches.

Taking a dive was a dishonor yourself, let alone a sincere dishonor to the entire Sumo community of wrestlers, trainers, promoters, fans, and even the guy who gets paid to wipe the arses of ginormous wrestlers…. MORE

The Bluff Power 20; Howard Lederer Has the Juice – Howard Lederer was named the most powerful person in poker.

Deadhead. Former bookie. Poker pro. Online poker visionary. Top dog. Top gun. King of the Hill. The Godfather… MORE

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March 2011

Closing the Sahara – I took a walk down memory lane when I found out that the Sahara Casino in Las Vegas was closing its doors.

Las Vegas rose up out of the nothingness of the sand. A former Mormon missionary outpost had transformed into a gambling Mecca by gangsters, real estate developers, and bankers. Mecca is actually an inappropriate word to describe Las Vegas because there’s nothing religious about a pilgrimage to modern day Sodom and Gomorrah — the epicenter for the orgy of consumption… MORE

Orphaned Cards – I cannot explain why, but sometimes I find random cards in the middle of the street.

Rolling Out the Magic – If I was a TV exec and I could rig a final table, I’d pick nine specific personality types.

Television executives in poker are faced with two rigorous obstacles: 1) inaction at the tables, and 2) lack of stimulating dialogue. Both are detrimental to ratings. Lackadaisical ratings gave poker a blemish, which is why the suits in charge of programming banished poker to uncoveted late night slots, where stoners and insomniacs alike watched with an indifferent glaze. The few remaining programs were lost in the shuffle at the farthest ends of the satellite spectrum, embroiled in fierce competition against 1,000 other stations…. MORE

Sweating Sachin Tendulkar – New low as a degen gambler… I bet on cricket.

Despite being plagued with a short attention span, an 8-hour sporting event like cricket is a definite commitment, both physically and mentally, but due to medical breakthrough and advances in technology, 8-hour long cricket matches are conductive if you have proclivities to specific time-released pharmaceuticals…. MORE

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April 2011

Down With Diseased Monkeys – I began the month betting on baseball and went on a horrid losing streak.

Sports betting is a huge life leak, but it’s also a life sweetener, or a bottle of hot sauce that spruces up mundane aspects of daily life, which is why it’s inherently dangerous. Finding the perfect balance between entertainment, merriment, stroking the ego is essential to healthy lifestyle. It’s when you cross over the proverbial demarcation line in the murky, cloudy grey area that you takes strides away from the light and rush toward the dark…. MORE

Black Friday, Vampire Squids, and 1,000 Masturbating Monkeys – I was in Lima, Peru when Black Friday hit and waited until after I finished climbing Machu Picchu before I wrote about my take on the worst day in the history of online poker.

What was the point of even sending the PPA to Washington? Instead, we should have sent a hundred masturbating chimpanzees to lobby for online poker — they would have accomplished the same fucking thing as the PPA, but at least we’d have some cool YouTube videos of monkeys jerking off on the steps of the Capitol…. MORE

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May 2011

Aunt Emma – Another installment of the infamous Pai Gow Diaries.

A disheveled woman sat down next to me. She wore a green terry cloth jacket. For a second I thought she walked into the casino wearing her bath robe. But she smelled like she had slept in her car, woke up, blew a snot rocket, smoked the ends of three week-old cigarette butts, then walked over to the Pai Gow table…. MORE

PokerStars Offices Raided in Costa Rica – I just happened to know a few friends in Costa Rica who were around when the federales raided the San Jose offices of online poker rooms.

Black Friday Fallout: Offshore Sportsbooks Fleeing U.S. Soil – The sportsbetting industry also took a hit when they experienced residual fallout from Black Friday.

14 Fun Moments from the 2010 WSOP and 14 More Fun Moments at the 2010 WSOP – I was reminiscing about some fun times I had in the summer of 2010.

Fading the Rapture – I love betting against Jesus Freaks, especially those predicting specific dates for Armageddon.

Glow in the Dark Dragons – And what’s the WSOP without kicking it off by going on dealer tilt at a Pai Gow table?

The new line of Pai Gow bots will not arrive until late in 2011, which means I only have to deal with older version, which are prone to glitches and the occasional error. I guess that’s the only good thing to come out of the Japan quake. Sure, Japan is drowning in radiation soup while traces of radioactive material flutter its way toward North American airspace, but at least I won’t have to worry about an upgraded version of the Pai Gow bots…. MORE

* * *
June 2011 and August 2011

Thanks to Alexander, I got to be on the cover of The Circuit. here’s my interview…

I covered my 7th World Series of Poker on Tao of Poker. Here’s the index of coverage…

Let’s start with a couple of posts that were published before cards went in the air on Day 1. Among those were a few tidbits about the Ivey/Full Tilt lawsuit.

2011 WSOP: Before the Madness Begins – A prelude to the seven-week fiesta of poker.

WTF? Phil Ivey Suing Full Tilt Poker – In one of the most peculiar news stories since Black Friday, Phil Ivey announced he was leaving Full Tilt, suing Tiltware, and sitting out of the WSOP. All of these important announcements were made on his Facebook fan page. Whaaaaa?

Full Tilt’s Angry Response to Phil Ivey’s Lawsuit – The drama-filled start to the WSOP continued with an angry response from Full Tilt’s HQs. That’s the fastest they ever responded to anything in the wake of Black Friday.

Finding Pil Ivey and the Doctor Is In – The video crew at Bluff Magazine did an awesome job with their videos this summer, especially the bit Finding Ivey. I got tapped to tape an interview and you can see a teaser in this video.

The Circuit Cover and Interview – I was fortunate that Alexander asked me to be a part of his amazing photo project — The Circuit. Check out what went down behind the scenes during the photo shoot, including a candid interview about what life is really like on the road following around the tournament circuit.

Okay, and now here are the daily recaps from the 2011 WSOP…

Day 1: Welcome to the Jungle and Phil Ivey’s Titanium Balls – The 2011 WSOP kicked off with lots of questions swirling around about which pros would toe the company line and support Full Tilt Poker, and which red pros would ditch the patches and other FT branding. Phil Ivey fired the first shot with his lawsuit (announced via Facebook), but did he incite a mutiny with other red pros following his lead?

Day 2: Ivey’s Hippodrome and Bare-Chested Scandis – Gus Hansen wandering around with his shirt undone and the ongoing saga between Phil Ivey and Full Tilt were among the more dramatic topics on the second day of action.

Day 3: Moneymaker and Johnny Fucking Chan Win Grudge Matches and Men the Master Cheating Accusations – A Made-for-TV event occupied the Mothership with Chris Moneymaker and Johnny Fucking Chan winning their Main Event “grudge matches”. Meanwhile, in the real WSOP, Men the Master was the center of hurricane of shadiness when he hypocritically accused Hollywood Dave of shorting a pot. A shouting match ensued and both were on the verge of being disqualified.

Day 4: Jake Cody’s Emos, Hooligans, and Hat Tricks – Jack Cody, the latest British wunderkind made history when he became only the third member of the Triple Crown club. His victory did not come without a little rail rowdiness along the way.

Day 5: Apocalypse Now (Guest Post by Change100) – Yes, I had the day off and Change100 stepped up to pen an atmospheric piece on the tension in the air at the start of the 2011 WSOP — the first series in the wake of Black Friday and “money getting stuck on Full Tilt” fiasco.

Day 6: Ho-most for Maria Ho – The lovely Maria Ho went deep in the 5K NL event and came within one spot of winning her first bracelet.

Day 7: British Invasion, Vampire Squids, and the Devil – After the first week of nonstop poker, the first zombie begin to appear at the Rio. The zombies in turn attract the Devil along with treacherous vampire squids.

Day 8: The Marked Cards Conspiracy and the Last 5 Pros I Pissed Next To – It’s not the WSOP unless there’s a controversy involving the cards. There’s always something wrong with the decks. At the 2011 WSOP, a couple of the decks had a printing error that was only visible underneath the groovy purple grow-lights inside the Mothership.

Day 9: Cocking Blocking the Brits – The Brits launched an all-out assault on Las Vegas once again as they threatened to win another bracelet but the bloody 10-level rule was the only thing that prevented them from shipping another bracelet.

Day 10: Banning Booze, World Series of Mormons, and Sweating the Mavs – Despite the financial woes bringing America to the brink of ruin, the WSOP continued to thrive in the face of external adversity on both the political and financial fronts. The influx of players always brought with it a wave of fervor on the rail during final tables. The powers to be did not anticipate a Mardi Gras-like atmosphere inside the Mothership that is a fragile TV set and not a country-western bar. As a result, booze was officially banned at the final table.

Day 11: Social Media in Poker and Tex Dolly Blows Chunks – The poker world has changed for the better (or worst) because of the heavy influence of social media. Oh, and we found out through Twitter that Texas Dolly got ill during the middle of a tournament because of something he ate.

Day 12: Hellmuth Chokes and Prohibition Ends at the Mothership – Phil Hellmuth was on a mission to win his 12h bracelet, yet his attempt was thwarted. Meanwhile, much to the delight of the alkies in Vegas, booze was permitted to be consumed inside the Mothership. Yes, the short-lived prohibition was over.

Day 13: Tweaker City, USA – I experienced a rather sketchy encounter in the parking lot at the Gold Coast while hanging out with Benjo.

Day 14: Subterranean Homesick Alien and Brits Snag Third Bracelet – By the end of the second week of the WSOP, everyone is ridden with homesickness. Despite the malaise, another Brit won a bracelet, meanwhile, we decided to pay homage to old school Vegas with a trip downtown to where it all began — Binion’s.

Day 15: Triple ElkY and The Mark is the 22nd Best PLO Player in the World – The French surged during the beginning of the third week of the series. They won three bracelets in a short period of time and ElkY became only the fourth player to win the Triple Crown. Meanwhile, a close friend of the Tao of Poker went deep in a PLO event. Yeah, The Mark fell short of his first WSOP final table.

Day 16: Le Deux; French Snag 2 Bracelets in 24 Hours – The French surge continued with their second bracelet within a 24-hour period.

Day 17: Mike Sexton Heads-Up for Bracelet and Liquidating the Sahara – The Ambassador of Poker, Mike Sexton, went deep in the Stud 8 event, only to have it suspended due to the 10-level rule. Sexton was heads-up when his tournament was halted. Meanwhile, the big liquidation sale at the Sahara kicked off. Jerome and Camille shot a stunning video of that dreary sale day.

Day 18: No Country For Old Men; Barry Greenstein and Mike Sexton Denied Bracelets – Two poker greats came very close to winning bracelets, yet they fell short of the mark. In addition, the Senior’s Event kicked off with everyone standing to attention when the Stars and Stripes were played.

Day 19: The Donkenator and Eating Death – Dominating a donkaments are never an easy task. Woever wins that bracelet damn well deserves it. I delve a bit into Milton’s Paradise Lost in this recap. Enter at your own risk.

Day 20: The Egregious Case of the $9 Pizza and Stein Shines – It was a matter of time before I went off on an old-fashioned anti-food rant because of the horrendous $9 pizza that the Poker Kitchen tries to pass off as a culinary delight.

Day 21: A Day in the Life; Hellmuth Denied 12th Bracelet (Again) – This is my favorite piece of the summer, mainly because most of the hijinks happened outside the Amazon Ballroom that eventually morphed into my first Memento moment of the WSOP. Anyway, I went on a classic bender at the Gold Coast while Phil Hellmuth went deep once again and tried to win bracelet #12.

Day 22: Slowdown, Rocky Mountain High, and Chau Giang Confirmed Alien – The WSOP caught its breath at the start of the fourth week of play, while I determined that Chau Giang is really an alien.

Day 23: Timex Flashback, Jason Mercier Wins PLO Bracelet, and More Sordid Tales About Chasing the Dragon – I squeezed in a little personal Pai Gow degeneracy in between a recap about Jason Mercier’s victory in the PLO event along with a flashback about the origins of Timex.

Day 24: Dwan Song, Revelry, and Hooligans – Whenever Tom “durrrr” Dwan makes a final table, the entire poker world stops to watch. With a few million in prop bets on the line, Dwan’s final tables always have an added element of excitement. Alas, it was the Brits who sucked up all of the attention in the Amazon Ballroom as they railed their boy Middy and even drank Jager bombs out of their shoes.

Day 25: Rubber Soul, Electric Daisies, and Two-Tabling Pai Gow – The Electric Daisy Carnival swept through Vegas and a quarter million ravers invaded Sin City. Fabrice Soulier shipped a bracelet and became the third Frenchie to win one in 2011. Ah, and I also engaged in a live session of Pai Gow again and two-tabled it. I’m lucky I didn’t get 86′d.

Day 26: The Sickness – If you’ve spent a significant amount of time in Las Vegas, then you’ve seen those afflicted with The Sickness. I spoke about some of my experiences with the dreaded disease.

Day 27: Shaking Down Ravers; November Niner Snags Bracelet – I had a situation when I should’ve rolled a couple of schwasted ravers in the elevator, but I couldn’t cross over to the dark side and take advantage of the party people on the last day of the Electric Daisy Carnival.

Day 28: The Glass Onion; Lamb Leads POY – Donkey slayers, Brazilians, and Ben Lamb seizing the top spot in Player of the Year race.

Day 29: Carnival at the Mothership; Akkari Wins Bracelet – I went to cover a final table and a Brazilian soccer match broke out. The Mothership was transformed into a World Cup final when Brazil’s native son Andre Akkari advanced to the final table and was heads-up for a bracelet.

“Vamooooooooooooooo!”
Days 30-33: OFF

Day 34: Happy Birthday, America – On the Fourth of July, America celebrated with its annual Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island. Only in America can we boast about binge eating to celebrate our creation and independence from British tyranny.

Day 35: Catching Up - After a brief holiday away from the Vegas grind, it was time to catch up on everything I missed.

Day 36: Don’t Stop Believen‘ – Hellmuth and the 50K hit a hard stop. Grumbles ensued.

Day 37: Another Runner-Up Finish for Hellmuth; Whiffs on Three Flush Draws to Lose Bracelet#12 – Hellmuth had another disappointing evening after he whiffed on three big flush draws only to lose to Brian Rast, who won his second bracelet in 2011.

* * *

2011 Main Event Coverage

Prelude to the Killing Fields – The 2011 Main Event
With a Little Help From My Friends: The Michael Stevens Story by Change100
Day 38- Main Event Day 1A: Dolly’s Abyss
Day 39 – Main Event Day 1B: Luck Rack of Lamb
Prope Bets with Remkos and Micros WSOP Episode
Day 40 – Main Event Day 1C: One More Saturday Nite
Day 41 – Main Event Day 1D: Spiderman Big Records, Perma-Bans, and 6,865
Day 42 – Main Event Day 2A: Torturing the One-Eyed Clown, Hellmuth Awakes, and the Euro Surge
Day 43 – Main Event Day 2B: Lamb Lies Down on Broadway
Day 44 – Main Event Day Off; Annie Duke Wins Media Tournament
Day 45 – Main Event Day 3: Poirier and Jace Are Million Men and Tilt-A-Scandi
Day 46 – Main Event Day 4: Soft Bubbles, Zombie Apocalypse, and the Reincarnation of JRB
Day 47 – Main Event Day 5: There Must Be Some Way Out of Here
The Skinny: Day 6
Day 48 – Main Event Day 6: House of the Rising Sun; NOLA’s Ryan Lenaghan Leads with 57 Remaining
The Skinny: Day 7
Day 49 – Main Event Day 7: Buy the Ticket, Survive the Ride
2011 November Nine Set

* * *

And here’s the Best of Tao of Pokerati… which are some of my favorite episodes of the Tao of Pokerati podcast that Michalski and I recorded from the 2011 WSOP featuring special guests Benjo, Snoopy, KevMath, Remko, and AlCantHang.

Episode 6: Ivey’s Lawyer (4:17) – Dan and Pauly chat about the Ivey drama that transformed the opening days of the WSOP into the “World Series of Phil Ivey.” Dan also shares some inside info on Ivey’s lawyer, renown criminal attorney David Chesnoff.

Episode 7: Sahara Liquidation with Remko and Benjo (6:12) – Benjo and Pauly discussed the Sahara Casino liquidation sale/auction with one of the members of the Dutch press, Remko. Both Remko and Benjo expressed a keen interest in acquiring a slot machine for super cheap, while Pauly has his eyes set on a Pai Gow table. Meanwhile, Benjo and Remko try to figure out how to ship a slot machine from Vegas to France and Holland.

Episode 12: The Tweaker Edition with Benjo (4:02) – Benjo and Pauly hang out at the Gold Coast and watched a tweaker get 86d by security. They later encounter the tweaker in the parking lot, and Benjo asks Pauly for a quick tutorial about the seedy Las Vegas meth scene.

Episode 14: Old School Cheats with Johnny Hughes (6:02) – Pauly sat down and chatted with a special guest — the legendary Johnny Hughes — who has been in poker circles for 50+ years. Pauly asks Johnny to share some stories about old school poker cheats and the “fear” of getting caught, which kept a lot of shady characters in line.

Episode 16: Brickless Cash Games Reprise (3:22) – Dan and Pauly recorded a quick follow-up to their previous episode while they hang out on the rail of the high-stakes cash games. They spot Eskimo Clark, “Cowboy”, and other broke dicks lingering around seeking handouts from the high rollers.

Episode 17: WSOP Fashion Report with KevMath (5:10) – Pauly chats with KevMath, who is a self-described “fashion expert.” The two compare and contrast the different styles of clothing worn by members of the media. KevMath also reveals why he won’t wear shorts.

Episode 19: KevMath Keno System with KevMath (6:01) – Pauly and KevMath hang out at the dive bar in a bowling alley at the Gold Coast. KevMath was in the middle of crushing a video Keno game, when Pauly asked him to share a couple of his big secrets to beating the game.

Episode 20: Adieu, Benjo (8:40) with Benjo – After almost a week of speculation and rumors, Benjo confirms that he’s leaving Las Vegas and heading home to France. His brief stint at the WSOP is officially over. One chapter ends, and a new one begins. Dr. Pauly, Dan and Benjo hang out in the dive bar inside the bowling alley at Gold Coast to listen to Benjo bid his farewells.

Episode 21: New Dynamic Duo with Snoopy (5:59) – Pauly holds auditions for a new sidekick with only one requirement — a outrageous accent. Snoopy, a writer from London, nails the audition. In this episode, they discuss modeling their new dynamic duo on the Batman & Robin television series, in addition to re-locating the Bat Cave to England and installing bat poles in the press box.

Episode 23: Brazil’s Mothership Invasion with AlCantHang (2:50) – Pauly and AlCantHang are on the rail inside the Mothership watching the heads-up battle between American Nachman “The Landlord” Berlin and Brazil’s native son Andre Akkari. Al and Pauly record a quick episode moments after Akkari won a decisive pot to cripple Berlin, and the Brazilians went berserk.

Episode 26: Main Event Begins! (6:34) – The Main Event is upon us and before the cards went in the air, Pauly is hanging out and listening to TD Jack Effel’s long-winded introduction and a quick rundown of the rules to all Main Event players. Jack then introduces Texas Dolly to utter the famous phrase, “Shuffle up and deal!”

Episode 27: Almost Famous with Snoopy (3:32) – While players return to their seats after the dinner break, Pauly and Snoopy notice Jason Alexander posing for pictures with fans. Snoopy explains why Seinfeld wasn’t a big hit in England and Pauly discovers someone dressed as Snow White in the crowd. Pauly also wonders if Snoopy would ever dress up in a costume for the Main Event.

Episode 29: Media Mania and Golden Toilets with Change100 and AlCantHang (3:08) – Pauly is still in the media event, so Change100 takes the opportunity to chat with AlCantHang. They both busted rather early, especially AlCantHang, who won a dubious honor of being the first player to bust out. His reward? A Golden Toiler trophy for last place.

Episode 33: Two Brits, One Irishman with Snoopy (5:09) – Snoopy gives Pauly the latest British report with three tables remaining in the Main Event. Snoopy clues us in on the two Brits (Sam Holden and JP Kelly) still alive along with Eoghan O’Dea from Ireland. Even though O’Dea is Irish, Snoopy and Brits are still keeping an eye on their “adopted” player.

Episode 36: KevMath WSOP Exit Interview with KevMath (8:50) – Kevin “KevMath” Mathers is officially done with his WSOP assignment, but he stopped by the Rio to watch the action on Day 8. He bumped into Pauly, who sat him down to discuss his favorite moments (and least favorite) during his first ever WSOP. Pauly also quizzes him on any strange “fan” encounters along the way.

Episode 37: Pseudo-Final Table (6:02) – Dan and Pauly are on the rail of the Mothership as action resumes for the pseudo-final table of ten, otherwise known as the November Nine bubble. Plenty of tension in the air because the final table will be set with just one more elimination.

Episode 39: Bruno’s New Toy (4:20) – Fun Warren brought a batch of dolls to the WSOP. The dolls, resembling famous poker pros, were custom made in London . He left a couple behind for Pauly and Dan. Pauly got Phil Hellmuth, while Dan seems a little disappointed with Daniel Negreanu. Dan suggests that he’ll probably give the Negreanu’s doll to his dog Bruno, so Bruno will now have a new play toy.

If you want to listen to more episodes from the 2011 WSOP, visit Tao of Pokerati podcast archives.

* * *
August, September, and October 2011

I took three months off and moved to San Francisco. I only posted 19 times in that stretch. Less is more, eh? Here’s a few gems from the hiatus months…

Hot Sauce
A Brief Letter to Full Tilt Poker: Fuck You, Pay Me
Full tilt Ponzi Poker
Rocketman and Welcome to the Ice Palace
The Degen Market
I Didn’t Know I Was That Far Gone
Superstitions, Jinxes, and River Rats

* * *
November 2011

I returned to semi-regular poker writing with the November Nine on the agenda and the conclusion of the 2011 WSOP Main Event Championship.

Betting guide to the 2011 November Nine
2011 November Nine – Sunday LIVE Blog
November Nine Down to Three; Germany’s Pius Heinz = Chip Leader
2011 WSOP November Nine – Tuesday Live Blog
Pius Heinz Wins 2011 WSOP Main Event

Michalski and I also recorded a few special Tao of Pokerati podcasts….

Tao of Pokerati Podcast – 2011 November Nine Edition
Episode 1: Evolution
Episode 2: Naming Names
Episode 3: Betting on Belize
Episode 4: Non-Silence of the Lambs
Episode 5: Giannetti Lives
Episode 6: Quad Lambs
Episode 7: Poker Hall of Fame Ceremony
Episode 8: First Hand Fireworks
Episode 9: Heads-Up Outfits
Episode 10: The Final Hand
Episode 11: Hooker Bar Farewell

* * *
December 2011

The year ended with the annual blogger gathering to Vegas, which inspired a three-part trip report and as the year ended and I began to reflect on 2011, I sounded off on a few topics.

Four Haikus – Lost Vegas
Ocho – WPBT, Part 1
Ocho – WPBT, Part 2
Ocho – WPBT, Part 3
Zombie Poker Apocalypse
Puppeteers of America

* * *
That’s it. The highlights from 2011. I hope you have a happy new year.

And if you like what you read, I encourage you to vote Tao of Poker for Best Poker Blog in Bluff’s Readers Choice Awards. Thanks for your support.

Support indie writers by buying Pauly’s book Lost Vegas.

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2011 WSOP – Day 5: Apocalypse Now (Guest Post by Change100)

Editor’s Note: While Dr. P snuck off to Ohio to cover two Phish shows for Coventry Music, we have our first installment of the Tao All-Stars featuring Hollyweird’s favorite blonde… Change100.

* * *
Apocalypse Now

By change100
Las Vegas, NV

There’s something in the air at the Rio and it isn’t the exhaust from the Poker Kitchen. It’s not the stench of Eskimo Clark’s unwashed clothing or even the stale odor of Camel Lights wafting off the lips of the leather-skinned man in the three seat. It’s pure, unadulterated desperation, and it’s everywhere—in the 2 for 1 specials at floundering Strip hotels, in the steely quiver of your opponent’s voice as he growls “nice hand” without meaning it, in the sweaty palms of under-rolled punters who cast off their last $1,000 to the sweet-faced girl at the cage who replaces those bills with a paper seat card and a bids you a flat “good luck.” All the luck in the world can’t save the global economy anymore, and here in Las Vegas, this summer might as well be the last night of the world for a vast majority of the poker community.

The 2011 WSOP is put up or shut up time for scores of displaced American online pros, weekend grinders, and tournament players on the last legs of their backing deals. Make a big score and you might survive to play another year. Pull a donut hole and you’re dunzo. This is everyone’s last chance to shine—the eleven o’clock number, the evening gown competition, the closing statement to the jury before Black Friday’s true sentence is handed down. We were all punch-drunk in the six weeks between Black Friday and the opening salvo of the WSOP. Some staggered around with stars in their eyes, others slumped to the ground, a few whipped around and threw wild punches—not only venting their anger, but questioning virtually every authority figure in the industry. Whatever those answers are, they’ll be a lot clearer after we all go home on July 20th. But for now, it’s time to grind like there is no tomorrow.

I pulled up to the Venetian on Sunday afternoon to play my first cash game session of the summer. I hadn’t seen a crowd like that in at least two years. Valet parking was completely jammed, the cab line was 50 yards long, and the sidewalks were overflowing. A taxi driver told me that Memorial Day Weekend numbers were through the roof and the scene inside reflected it. More than 40 cash games were going at mid-afternoon and another 50 tables were set up outside the poker room to house one of the first Deepstack Extravaganza events. I sat in a $4/$8 limit hold’em game while I waited for the $8/$16 mix to fill and within five minutes was unapologetically slowrolled.

I hadn’t even opened my mouth and was playing my first hand, yet this douchebag in a cheap golf shirt (who would have busted what was left in his rack had he not rivered his gutter) decided to reveal his inner asshole, faux-frowning at my top two pair for about ten seconds before saying, “Well, I’ve got the straight,” turning his cards over one at a time. When I departed over three hours later, I surveyed the $2/5 NL tables in the middle of the room. More hoodies. More headphones. Fewer tourists with Coronas. Serious faces. Folks far more concerned with making money than having a good time.

Two nights later I was back, staring at an As-Kc-5c-Js board after being check-raised on the turn. With Ks-5s in my hand I certainly wasn’t folding, but suspected my two pair were no longer good.

“You have a thing for hitting gutshots” I said, thinking aloud and recalling a previous hand, as I made the call. The river was a blank and he checked to me. I checked behind and he showed the Q-T.

“Knew it,” I said, knocking the table. “Nice hand.”

“You think you’re some kind of professional? You think you can read my mind?” the man practically spat as he dragged the pot.

“Yeah, I’m a $4-$8 pro. All you need to pay the bills,” I laughed.

“Well we can go to $10-$20 if you want Miss Professional. We can go as high as you want. You just say the word.”

“You know, I was having a pretty good time until you opened your mouth. Am I alone on this?” Stone faces all around.

The same was true at the Rio. You expect at least one guy in your $125 satellite to be wearing Beats headphones and mirrored sunglasses, but six? Are these what my online tables always looked like? The play wasn’t any more threatening or nuanced than usual, but everyone was so…serious. Whether or not their lives (or at least their weekend) actually did depend on the outcome of this satellite, it sure as hell seemed like it.

It’s not just the low-limit punters that are growing testier by the hour. Arguments stole the headlines for the first three days of the WSOP. Whether it was Ivey vs. Tiltware, James Bord vs. John Juanda, or Men the Master vs. Hollywood Dave, it became abundantly clear that this year, people were willing to call each other out publicly—for cheating, for reneging on promises, for wearing the logo of an online room that has yet to pay out its U.S. players. While UB yellow-and-black thankfully appears to be long-gone from these hallways, a few daring red pros are still sporting Full Tilt patches. While some like Tom Dwan can afford to tell their sponsor to fuck off if they don’t want to deal with the potential consequences of wearing a logo, others may still be hoping in vain for past due paychecks, forgiveness on makeup, or even a shot in the dark at staying signed.

“It just doesn’t seem as fun this year,” a longtime member of the media said to me this afternoon as we sat up on the half-empty perch. “There isn’t that carnival atmosphere anymore.”

He was right. As much as the WSOP tried to increase the grandeur of poker’s premiere festival this year (just look at that spaceship masquerading as a final table) the wide-eyed wonder that always accompanied it is long gone.

“Numbers might be up,” he said, “but that’s just because no one’s broke yet.”

change100 is a writer from Los Angeles. This is her sixth year at the World Series of Poker.

Support indie writers by buying Pauly’s book Lost Vegas.

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Monday Nugs: UB Axes Sponsored Pros, Joe Sebok’s Mea Culpa, Haley’s Book Deal, Beating Live Poker, and Hollywood Apocalyptica

By Pauly
Los Angeles, CA

Joe Sebok at the 2006 WSOP
Happy Mother’s Day. It’s Monday night, so if you haven’t called your mom… you’re in deep shit.

Anyway… here’s a few things I read over the weekend and I thought you might be interested in, and here’s a few nuggets from today’s news cycle…

UB Cheating Scandal: First of all, congrats to Haley for a book deal! I’m thrilled she’s finally going to get paid for her diligent and relentless investigative reporting into the UB cheating scandal. She did all of that OUT OF POCKET after she got fired from Poker News. While thousands of players bitch and moaned about UB in forums, Haley rolled up her sleeves dug through shit pile after shit pile to unearth small nuggets of truth and fragments of evidence of a massive cover up, scandal, and flat out fraud. By the way, here’s an index of her Just Conjecturin’ series. And don’t forget to read her latest installment Volume 35: Norwegian Exposure. (Haley’s Poker Blog)

Black Friday Fallout: Speaking of UB… they axed all of their sponsored players. (Bluff)

More Black Friday Fallout: Speaking of sponsored UB players… Joe Sebok, the whipping boy of 2+2, posted his final statement about his time with UB. (Poker Road)

Live Poker: Ed Miller penned a couple of posts on trying to beat different types of players you’ll encounter in Las Vegas… Beating the Tourists and Beating the Locals. (Ed Miller)

Online Gaming Legalization: David Scwartz sounded off on Black Friday and the future of online poker… Online gaming will come; Nevada should lead it. (Las Vegas Business Press)

Skill v. Luck: My mom of all people mentioned this piece… Poker as a Game of Skill. (NY Times)

Fear at the Movies: Check out Change100′s new beat titled Hollywood Apocalyptica. (Tao of Fear)

That’s it. You know the drill. NGTFOOMO!

Support indie writers by buying Pauly’s book Lost Vegas.

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Paul Leggett Is a Scumbag, Vol. 617

By Pauly
Los Angeles, CA

In case you were last few God-fearing Christians on the planet who were the only ones who saw any goodness in the cold, blackened heart of Paul Leggett, perhaps the latest post from Haley — Just Conjecturin’, Volume 34: Behind the IDS Closing — Olman Rimola vs. Paul Leggett — might sway your opinion and you can join 99% of the rest of the poker world holding the general consensus that Paul Leggett is a scumbag.

I haven’t seen a cover-up orchestrated this poorly since Enron.

Yes, Blanca Gaming (which owns UB/Absolute) filed for bankruptcy in Scandinavia of all places. Over 95% of the support and marketing staff, mostly based out of Costa Rica, has been given their pink slips.

Kudos to Haley for being a pitbull and never giving up on investigating the UB cheating scandal. Even though UB is about to be officially RIP, I’m positive that Haley is going to continue to keep digging until she can connect every single dot of the cheating scandal.

I’ve spewed enough anger this week. I sincerely hope your weekend is full of rainbows, unicorns, never-ending kegs, and straight flushes.

Support indie writers by buying Pauly’s book Lost Vegas.

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Paul Leggett Is a Scumbag, Vol. 617

By Pauly
Los Angeles, CA

In case you were last few God-fearing Christians on the planet who were the only ones who saw any goodness in the cold, blackened heart of Paul Leggett, perhaps the latest post from Haley — Just Conjecturin’, Volume 34: Behind the IDS Closing — Olman Rimola vs. Paul Leggett — might sway your opinion and you can join 99% of the rest of the poker world holding the general consensus that Paul Leggett is a scumbag.

I haven’t seen a cover-up orchestrated this poorly since Enron.

Yes, Blanca Gaming (which owns UB/Absolute) filed for bankruptcy in Scandinavia of all places. Over 95% of the support and marketing staff, mostly based out of Costa Rica, has been given their pink slips.

Kudos to Haley for being a pitbull and never giving up on investigating the UB cheating scandal. Even though UB is about to be officially RIP, I’m positive that Haley is going to continue to keep digging until she can connect every single dot of the cheating scandal.

I’ve spewed enough anger this week. I sincerely hope your weekend is full of rainbows, unicorns, never-ending kegs, and straight flushes.

Support indie writers by buying Pauly’s book Lost Vegas.

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Sweating Sachin Tendulkar

By Pauly
Los Angeles, CA

As a kid, I honed my skills in the South Riverdale Baseball League. I was no where as good as my brother, who would someday become renown as one of the best pitchers in SRBL history. Many of our games were played a couple of miles from Yankee Stadium in Van Cortlandt Park, a sprawling 30,000 acres that was also the location of a Revolutionary War battle.

Van Cortlandt Park also happened to be where I first saw cricket players. I immediately noticed the funny wooden bats and became entranced at the odd piece of equipment. The handle seemed the same, but the shaft of the bat looked more like a massive wooden butter knife when compared traditional scuffed aluminum bat that I had slung over my shoulder and carried everywhere.

Image: Calvin Wilson
When I inquired about cricket, my father explained that the British invented cricket but Abner Doubleday tweaked the game and invented baseball — the same game that I loved and played as much as possible when I was ten years old.

Doubleday was a name I knew well, because of Doubleday’s, a two-story pub where my parents and their friends often consumed copious amounts of spirits, especially after little league games because the pub was conveniently located across the street from the baseball diamonds in Van Cortlandt Park. My world view was rather narrow considering it was the late 1970s during those halcyon days before cable TV and the internet, so I innocently assumed that Abner Doubleday was a former owner of the pub (hence its name) and I created this back story inside my head that Abner Doubleday had to close the pub on Sundays because we were all Catholic. All the neighborhood drunks had nothing to do once church let out and without a bar to waste away in, Doubleday gathered everyone across the street in the park and taught them how to play baseball while they hid kegs in the woods. Thus, Abner double day invented baseball and the South Little League Baseball was born, and eventually, Babe Ruth built Yankee Stadium and the across the street candy story got these awesome new chocolate called Reggie Bars.

Cricket requires a significant amount of space and that’s exactly what Van Cortlandt Park offered for its players. The local league was dominated by immigrants from the West Indies and the Caribbean. Many of them grew up playing cricket (but sadly their children would assimilate into American sports and ditch the cricket bat for a baseball bat). When I was a kid, I recall that their games drew impressive crowds. I later found out that some of the participants were former legends of the game from their respective island nations. Some of them had migrated to New York City to find work, but they never ditched their passion for the game. Although the league lacked any sort of international legitimacy, that didn’t deter scores of cricket enthusiasts from showing up. Simply put, they were fans thrilled to see cricket in any form.

See That Googly? It’s Cricket in the Bronx is a New York Times article circa 1987 that I came across through a quick search for photos of the old cricket fields. The article reminded me about a minor spat between the cricket people and local residents. The cricket games were reduced to a much smaller section of the park near the riding stables. Due to the restricted space, errant balls went into the stables and rolling onto Broadway (yes, it’s the same street that’s the cross roads of Times Square — basically, if you walk 200 blocks north om Broadway, you will reach Van Cortlandt Park), the same street that separated the park from Doubleday’s Pub. After a talk with one of the local barflys (an ex-cop who regularly drank with my old man), I later discovered that there was an undertone of racism at play. He told me that our neighborhood, comprised of mostly Irish and Jewish families, was predominately white and the cricket players were people of color. Whether or not that is true, is still left to be determined.

I had forgotten about cricket until 2007. I flew down to Melbourne, Australia to cover the Aussie Millions. Due to jetlag and insomnia, I often sat in my room at the Crown Casino and watched Aussie TV, which included three sports stations (in addition to ESPN) and full station devoted to cricket matches. Nonstop cricket. I sat and watched and realized I had no clue what the hell was going on.

I visited Australia twice more within that year. During each visit, I watched more and more cricket. The game slowly seeped into my brain. I had some of the lingo down pat, but the rules were a little confusing. I had yet to bet on it because I still didn’t know the ins and out of a sport, but at the same time, I heard wild stories about fixing scandals in cricket. Despite the warm fuzzy memories of cricket being played in the same park where I played second base for the SRBL, as an adult I had pegged cricket as a rigged sport like Jai Alai, horse racing, and Presidential politics.

John Caldwell suggested that I talk to our colleague Gaz, who was a huge cricket supporter in Melbourne. He had season tickets and was known to knock back 25-30 beers during a single match. I never saw a match with Gaz because my tolerance is much lower these days and I’d pass out by the 12th or 13th beer, but it’s definitely on my list of “Epic Sporting Feats” that I’d like to do before I die. Drink with Gaz at a proper cricket match.

My first encounter with Shane Warne occurred inside the poker room at the Crown Casino in Melbourne. I had no idea who he was other than the tow-headed guy that was hanging out with Gaz. I bullshitted with him for a few minutes. He noticed my American accent and asked me how I was enjoying Australia and I prattled off all of the beers I tried. Then he told me I should drink Victoria Bitter. We ended our conversation and I walked into the poker room. A random person stopped me and said, “What did he say?”

“Huh?” I said.

“Warnie. What did you talk about?”

“Beer,” I said and wandered off.

Later that night I discovered the significance of Shane Warne. At the time, I had no fucking clue he was a pitchman for VB and that I had chatted with the greatest Australian cricket player of all time.

My British friends were not phased by name dropping, but they were uncharacteristically intrigued that I had met Shane Warne.

“Ball of the century,” said my colleague Conrad from London. “Type it into YouTube.”

During one of my assignments at the Crown, I was covering a tournament and I reported that Shane Warne had gotten a penalty for using his mobile phone at the table. I wrote it up and an hour later, the poker room manager said that I had a phone call. It was an AFP reporter asking me about Warne’s penalty. I assumed it was a slow news day. I clarified the mobile phone rule at the poker table and elaborated on Warne’s infraction.

I was a clueless sot and unaware about Warne’s marriage being broken up because of a text message with his mistress. Regardless, I was still quoted in an AFP article.

Conrad and my British colleagues were impressed. As Conrad said, “(You’re the) first American in the history of history to supply an authoritative quote on a cricket story.”

My Aussie friends were less than congratulatory. As one succinctly put it: “This is the bloody end of the fucking world, mate!”

And that was the re-introduction of cricket in my life. When I spent time in London on various assignments, I chatted with a few poker writers and they suggested that I cover The Ashes, a historical test match between Australia and Great Britain that happens every 1.5 to 2.5 years. They’ve been playing the Ashes since 1882 and that is on my list of sporting events to attend. I’d also love to cover it someday as a writer, maybe even write a book about my fish-out-of-water story as I stumble through the cricket world, trying to score hash while perpetually hungover and hanging out with binge-drinking, gregarious Australian reporters and binge-drinking, reserved British beat writers.

And thus brings us to Cricket’s World Cup. Australia dominated the last three World Cups and were the favorite to win this year. With March Madness, it was hard to give it my full attention, but once I found out you can bet on matches, I decided… fuck it. I bet on the Final Four matches. Sri Lanka (who upset England) took on New Zealand the other day, and as I’m writing this India is taking on Pakistan. I bet both Sri Lanka and India. I consulted my buddy Graham, who is a Kiwi living in Oz, and we swapped intel on our perspective sports. I gave him my thoughts on the March Madness Final Four and he tipped me off that this is India’s year.

Some of the back stories in this year’s World Cup are extraordinary. This ESPN article is a must read… Why You Should Care About Cricket. It focuses on the phenomena surrounding India’s best player, Sachin Tendulkar, who is Michael Jordan, Babe Ruth, the Beatles, Buddha, Picasso and George Washington all rolled into one.

It’s upon Tendulkar’s shoulders that 1 billion people in India are anticipating India’s first World Cup. Along the way, they had to upset Australia. Now, they are pitted against their rival Pakistan for a shot in the finals. Many pundits are calling this one of the biggest matches in the history of cricket. It’s certainly gotten a significant amount of hype, probably because the Pakistan squad is currently tarnished by a cheating scandal. Pakistani players were implicated in a spot-fixing scandal after they fixed a match against England.

Sweating cricket matches are even more grueling than baseball games. The World Cup matches are around eight hours long. The India-Pakistan match began at 2am PT. I crashed for the first two hours or so and woke up to watch the final six hours. I sat in the darkness of my living room, still a bit faded, and waiting until the sun finally came up before I mixed myself an eye-opening rum and orange/pineapple juice concoction. I used to joke that you weren’t an alkie if you waited until noon to drink. That bar has been lowered to sunrise.

Ah, and now it’s 9am. An hour or so left in the match. India is looking good, but I’m only understanding about 65% of what’s going on. I caught a rare “wicket” in real time, which as pretty cool. The match is being played on Indian soil and the majority of the fervent pro-Indian crowd are waving their flags with swirls of orange, white, and green, while bits of classical Indian-themed music pumped out on the PA with a techno backbeat to get the crowd even more riled up as they can now smell a victory.

I’m sitting on the edge of my couch in LA and secretly wishing I was sweating my bet among the 45,000 in the stands at Punjab Stadium in Chandigarh watching Sachin Tendulkar and his mates.

Download PokerStars for 2011 WSOP Satellites. Support indie writers by buying Pauly’s book Lost Vegas.

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Sweating Sachin Tendulkar

By Pauly
Los Angeles, CA

As a kid, I honed my skills in the South Riverdale Baseball League. I was no where as good as my brother, who would someday become renown as one of the best pitchers in SRBL history. Many of our games were played a couple of miles from Yankee Stadium in Van Cortlandt Park, a sprawling 30,000 acres that was also the location of a Revolutionary War battle.

Van Cortlandt Park also happened to be where I first saw cricket players. I immediately noticed the funny wooden bats and became entranced at the odd piece of equipment. The handle seemed the same, but the shaft of the bat looked more like a massive wooden butter knife when compared traditional scuffed aluminum bat that I had slung over my shoulder and carried everywhere.